“OVER RECENT years, we have become accustomed to church leaders issuing apologies for the terrible pain caused by the clerical abuse of children and young people, which is both a crime and a sin. Important though apologies are, they are not enough. Apologies may express heartfelt sorrow and compassion, but they do not, in themselves, protect a single child into the future.”   February 25, 2009, excerpt from article in Irishtimes.com

Unfortunately, child abuse it is an issue that we must address in our churches.  This fact stems from the knowledge that it is also a growing concern within our culture and the church, as it has for thousands of years, reflects the society in which it finds itself. Look, for instance, at the following data:

• In 2006, an estimated 905,000 children were found to be victims of some form of child abuse in all 52 States. Department of Health and Human Services
• In the above study, nearly three-quarters of victims (74.7%) had no history of prior victimization.  In other words, these are new cases. Department of Health and Human Services
• Each week, child protective services (CPS) agencies throughout the United States receive more than 50,000 reports of suspected child abuse or neglect. (reducingtherisk.com) Department of Human Services 

Now, compare these startling facts from the secular world to these figures that relate specifically to the church:

• In the last 10 years, there has been an average of 70 child abuse allegations against American churches every week Department of Health and Human Services
• The Journal of Pastoral Care reported in a 1993 survey that 14 percent of Southern Baptist senior pastors have engaged in “sexual behavior inappropriate for a minister.” darkness2light.org
• Men make up the largest majority of perpetrators of child sexual abuse for both boys and girls. These men usually play a role of caretaker in the child’s life…such as a pastor. essortment.com 

These facts are overwhelming as well as startling.  Before we can delve any deeper into this topic, it’s important that you become familiar with the proper definitions and terms that pertain to sexual misconduct within the context of our Church. I cannot stress enough the importance of making yourself you aware of the variances in the language of these meanings.

Sexual Harassment:  unwelcome sexual advances in the workplace that directly, or indirectly, impact one’s ability to perform at work.  In the context of our Church and the sexual mistreatment of children within our Church, this term does not accurately describe child sexual abuse because the victim is not a minor.  Unfortunately, it is often used interchangeably with child sexual abuse; this is incorrect.

Child Abuse:  physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect or child sexual abuse all fall under this category. Physical abuse is a deliberate, intentional decision to harm a child.  Emotional abuse is the usual result of physical abuse. It includes patterns of behavior that frighten a child on an emotional or psychological level.  Neglect is the collapse of parental responsibilities to provide the basic needs of a child (such as food, proper clothing, medical attention, etc.).

Sexual Misconduct:  An all-inclusive term that includes a range of behaviors used to obtain sexual contact against a person’s will. It is without consent and initiated by an acquaintance or stranger threatening to force or intimidate.  It is imperative to understand that CHILDREN CAN NEVER GIVE CONSENT to sexual advances of any kind.

We must do away with our archaic notions of the “typical” child abuser.  They are not uneducated “weirdoes” from a specific race.  Quite the contrary, sexual predators look like you, act like you and go to the same places you and your children attend.  However, child predators do have certain characteristics that our Church officials and members should be able to identify:  Remember, knowledge is vital in preventing another case of sexual misconduct and saving a child from a lifetime of hurt and pain.

Characteristics:

• Usually, the accuser is male who commits his first act of sexual misconduct before the age of 30.
• Typically a loner or is close to few people in his peer group.
• Has an abnormal fascination with children; non common among his peer group.
• Usually unmarried, however the number of married men with children who abuse other children is on a steady increase.
• Will refer to children using words that seem exaggerated or overly complimentary.
• Has child-like hobbies or interests.
• Carefully seeks a victim who is from a broken home, troubled, shy or disabled and shows interest in them.
• Seeks employment at places where children abound, such as; schools, churches, youth organizations, etc.
• Volunteers for positions that would give him access to children, often in a role of coach, tutor, mentor, or other capacities that allow unsupervised.
• Work first by befriending a victim, often taking them on trips and spending time that is normally filled with family activities.  They build a child’s self-esteem and gain their confidence. This is followed by more secretive behavior such as enticing a child to touch him, watch pornography or use alcohol or drugs.
• Will develop a special relationship with a single parent in order to gain easy access to their children. Once they become a trusted friend to the parent, it is easier to manipulate the children by telling them how much it would “hurt” their parent if the child told what was going on.

*(Source: ask.com).

Developing and following a reporting procedure is a critical component in a sexual abuse prevention program.  Not only do perpetrators of child sexual abuse thrive in an environment of secrecy, they typically will not become involved in a setting in which people are trained to recognize the outward symptoms of child abuse. All COGIC church workers must what constitutes an occasion for reporting and which actions they should take in order to properly represent the church, its image and its standing.

When a child first reports abuse or a case of abuse is suspected, church workers should never, ever openly dismiss the allegations. If a child says that their pastor has done the unthinkable, it would be wrong to counter that declaration with a comment such as, “I don’t believe that,” or “I know Pastor So and So, and I know he’d never do anything like that.”

Instead, remain calm and assure the child that you will do everything within your power to investigate this allegation the right way.  Reassure the child in a meaningful way without making derogatory remarks about their accuser.  For example, it would not be appropriate to start calling the perpetrator “bad” or a “sinner.”  Remember, oftentimes the executor of a child’s pain is often someone they love and respect.  Name-calling will only make the child more confused and disheartened.  You must leave your personal opinions to yourself during this time.

Walk the child through what will be happening in the immediate and in the days to come.  For instance, tell them how glad you are that they had the courage to speak about what was done to them.  Then tell them how important it is to inform their parents, their pastor, the proper authorities. 

Obtain a system for immediate note-taking. Depending on the type of abuse, a child may repress certain memories as a way to protect them from the anguish of the offense.  It is vital to record as much as possible during the early minutes after a child’s confession. Try to write down, verbatim, what was said.

Finally, follow the church’s policy for reporting these types of cases. There is usually someone on staff who is responsible for receiving and reacting to such reports.  Keep in mind that just because a report has been filed with the appropriate COGIC office, there is still a responsibility to report the case to the appropriate state agency which is usually Child Protective Services CPS). Most of the time, the person who takes the initial report is also responsible for contacting CPS and emergency officials.